Friday, November 26, 2010

Why I Support The TSA Touching YOUR Junk

That's right, YOUR junk, not mine or any other Muslims. Just good ol' "mainstream America," about time you had your civil liberties trampled. Welcome to reality, morons. This is exactly what a complacent brain dead society too infatuated with American Idol, and Dancing with the semi stars/has beens deserves. Instead of paying attention and raising hell, Americans sat on these obese posteriors and simply accepted the police state which crept in over the last decade. Granny being groped? 3 year olds being searched? Welcome to the Israelification of America, foolish gentiles. If you can go along with warrantless wiretapping, rendition flights, torture, illegal wars, why not a little sexual assault at the airport? Let criminals, molesters and rapists enjoy their new found power. Thanks Obamaniac!

Don't get me wrong, I salute John Tyner for standing up to the TSA(Thousands of Sexual Assaults) but feel it's too little, too late. Had Tyner been a Muslim, I can guarantee he would be behind bars and declared a terrorist on some trumped up charge of "threatening national security," and no uproar would have taken place. An Al-CIAda tape courtesy of SITE would have popped up right on schedule to inject just the right dose of fear.

Last year I was informed by a TSA minion: "DrM you've been randomly selected to go through the Back Scatter body scan." With a wry 10 shekel smile I replied "Actually you've been selected to do a pat down on me, cowboy." He chuckled and proceeded with the pat down, he was professional about it but I decided to punish this high school drop put anyway. As I started to walk away I left the TSA a silent token of my gaseous esteem, thanks to a seven layer burrito I had consumed at Taco Hell an hour earlier. And yes, this really did happen. Might want to keep this civil disobedience maneuver in mind.

Now were I in charge of the TSA there would be no problems at all. Only certain types would be profiled. You know, "dual loyalist" traitors who engage in espionage, false flag terrorism, blood diamonds, harvesting organs, you know, and that sort of thing. I'm talking about "israelis" of course. I'd irradiate the matzo out of Judeofascists, hitting them with every rad in the electromagnetic spectrum making sure they come out looking something like a stage 4 cancer patient, or a Hulk-like monstrosity. Tea baggers, Christofascist Armageddonists, house "Mozlem" and other shabbos goyim should be put through a similar atomic rapture. A possible benefit is that fecaliths T-fat and Pam Geller can evolve into primates.

But hey, the machines are safe right? The manufacturers and CNN's wide smiling token desi Dr.Sanjay Gupta want you to think so. Gupta ought to have his license revoked because he knows that numerous studies prove the over-use of imaging studies is directly linked to higher cancer risk in patients. This is why doctors across the nation are being urged to be more discrete in ordering such tests. Let me break it down for the nerds : The X-ray scanning machines use the same 100kV X-ray generator as a CT machine or other hospital X-ray machines. To say that in one case the X-rays bounce off the clothing while in the other case they penetrate the body is nonsense. The dose is lower than a CT machine because the beam is tightly collimated.

Still think I'm overdoing it? Fine, just don't complain when a TSA thug plays rock, scissors, paper with your junk or tells your pregnant wife it's a boy. Me, I'm going to eat a pair of those 7 layer burritos before taking my A.M.D (not the chip maker, dummy, use your imagination) to the airport.

1 comment:

LadyCroc said...

Thanks for the tip, bro!

Eating burritos at airports will never be the same to me again :)

Finally a fun I can get away with.