Saturday, September 30, 2006

Saturday, September 23, 2006

pre-Ramadan parting shots.....

If ISNA wants to ignore the Quran and Sunnah thats their problem. No moon sighting on Friday, no Ramadan on Saturday. I'm fed up with this nonsense and the fitna that comes with it. Check this out.

Since the usual suspects never tire of screaming about Iran's President, or shedding crocodile tears for Darfur(this coming from the same nazis who dropped over a million cluster bombs on southern Lebanon after agreeing to a ceasefire), check out this Rabbi's calls for extermination of all Palestinian males. Nice one schlomo, Hitler would be proud....hopefully you'll end up the same way he did.

More wacky Israeli tourism stories. This time, its an Israel woman carrying a magazine loaded with 16 gun bullets in her backpack upon her arrival in India. Hmmm, so a handicaped Palestinian woman suffering from cerebral palsy isnt allowed by Israelis to take her medication on her flight but they allow their own citizens to pack a little heat.
But we shouldnt rush to judgement...I sure theres a perfectly logical explanation for this, its not like she had any liquids on her or broke wind while casting a dark 5 0'clock shadow.

Ahhh what a world we live in....

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Pre-Ramadan diet primer and other tips for better health

Last year I did a number of posts on health, diabetes and heart disease, along with my world famous diet plan, and with Ramadan just days away, what better time to do a little follow up? I’m going to make this short, primarily because everybody is busy making their preparations, I’m lazy, and you should take the advice of a man who writes “honest interviews” with a grain of salt.

Many of us gain weight during Ramadan and that’s a real shame. Here are a number of things to avoid :

Soda : Please, oh please don’t drink regular soda for iftar. This is the worst possible you can do. Don’t declare a war on your pancreas by introducing several tablespoons of sugar into your bloodstream after the hypoglycemic state your body has been under all day. It will wreck havoc on your body’s ability to maintain proper sugar levels. If you must drink soda, make it diet. BTW sodas promote the formation of kidney stones, so if you want to play it safe drink water(prevents formation of gall and kidney stones) and eat radishes(proven to dissolve kidney and gall stones).

Iftar : Be responsible and know that iftar isn’t supposed to be a pig out at some “All you can eat” joint. Make it a modest meal and you may just avoid dozing off during Taraweeh prayers, assuming you can make it to the masjid after the food coma hits.

Alcohol : No really, you cant. This one’s for all you proggie juice hounds out there. Do you guys even fast?

That wasn’t too bad was it? Lets look at what you should be doing :

Cinnamon : Unless you have some ultra-rare allergy, you have absolutely no excuse whatsoever NOT to take Cinnamon pills with your meals. It’s a fantastic spice which significantly augments sugar metabolism, lowers cholesterol and acts like an anti-bacterial agent. Regardless of whether you have a family history of diabetes or not you should two 500 mg pills a day ( one each with lunch and dinner, or iftar) Check out what brother JD had to say about this :

On a completely different note, I wanted to let you know that my father-in-law and I are both drinking down two mugs of cinnamon (mixed in water) every day. When "Abah" went in for a blood test last week, his blood sugar and cholesterol levels were practically nothing. Since I started taking it consistently, almost all of my skin lesions have completely healed as has the bacterial inflammation on the back of my neck. I haven't been back to the doctor yet to see what my blood sugar levels are like, but I have felt the difference internally. Thank you for this information.”

Turmeric : Did you know that India has the lowest incidence of Alzheimer's in the world? Turmeric is the reason why, it is a powerful anti-cancer agent and prevents the formation of amyloid plaques which leads to the neurodegenerative disease known as Alzheimer's. In short, it protects brain cells. Now if only there was a nifty spice which could prevent Indians from making those atrocious bollywood films(that’s right, you heard me, SRK sucks, Amitabh is good, but Dilip Kumar(Yusuf Khan) is the KING.

Olive oil : This one’s a shocker….olive oil is cardio-protectant. Anti-inflammatory and delicious. A little on the pricey side but worth every penny. Its beneficial health effects are due both to the high content of monosaturated fats and the high content of antioxidative substances. Take a tablespoon of this daily and watch that LDL(bad cholesterol) score drop.

Baby Aspirin : a.k.a low dose aspirin (81mg dose) is must for anyone in their thirties. It thins the blood, prevents clotting and sharply cuts down heart attack incidence. One tablet a day is all you need(best time to take is after emptying the bowels). Unless you have a history of peptic ulcers or are on any other medication which may interfere with aspirin, check with your doctor. If you experience some gastrointestinal distress(a common side effect) cut down to 3 pills a week. NEVER TAKE ASPIRIN and ACETAMINOPHEN(Tylenol) TOGETHER, this causes cell death in the kidneys. Also, you need to be off aspirin for a week before undergoing any surgery. I don’t mean to scare anybody, its just a little disclaimer, part of what we call “cover you’re a$$” medicine"( translation = no lawsuits). One more thing, aspirin also prevents colon cancer.

Exercise : Physical recreation is a must. Fasting in itself is a form of exercise so no workouts during the day. If you have a treadmill, use it for a good 10-15 minutes in power walking mode to help you get some of that iftar down. Just see what its done for would-be assassin Pat Robertson here...!

Saw Palmetto : The prostate of all men enlarges with age, sorry gents its a fact of life. That pesky chemical called DHT(restosteron analogue and the one responsible for male alopecia) increases the size of the prostate ( presses down on urethra obstructing outward passage of urine). So as we age it becomes harder and harder to completely empty our bladder, hence you end going to the bathroom multiple times during the night resulting in poor sleep quality. Being unable to completely empty the bladder often leads to self infections. Prostate enlargement may progress into prostate cancer...but we're not going to let it go that far, we're going to play it safe by taking the herb Saw Palmetto in capsule form twice a day(160 mg x 2). It reduces the bodys DHT levels thereby reducing its effect on the prostate. So if you're over 35 you ought to start taking it, make sure the bottle has "standardized" on it. THIS IS FOR MEN ONLY.

I’ll stop here and hope this post didn’t come off as too academic. Also please check Sister Scorpion's blog detailing her excellent progress (partially due to the DrM diet plan, shameless plug) over the last year through a combination of exercise and diet modification. I wish more people were as tenacious about their health as she is. I hope this little primer comes in handy for those of you interested in taking a more pro-active approach towards your health.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Ahhhh, the ol' days

I've got a few too many good Catholic friends to let the current Pope's(who seems to be a fan of the "clash of civilizations" model) preposterous words roll back the progress made under the late Pope John Paul. Let it be known that no Muslim would EVER bismirch the name of Isa(Christ, a.s.) or any of the other Prophets.

As Prophet Muhammed (s.a.w) tells us in the Hadith :

Volume 4, Book 55, Number 652:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "Both in this world and in the Hereafter, I am the nearest of all the people to Jesus, the son of Mary. The prophets are paternal brothers; their mothers are different, but their religion is one."

Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 43, Number 656:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The Hour will not be established until the son of Mary (i.e. Jesus) descends amongst you as a just ruler, he will break the cross, kill the pigs, and abolish the Jizya tax. Money will be in abundance so that nobody will accept it (as charitable gifts).

Sahih Muslim Book 030, Number 5834:

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (pbuh) as saying: I am most akin to the son of Mary among the whole of mankind and the Prophets are of different mothers, but of one religion, and no Prophet was raised between me and him (Jesus Christ).

Also check Jesus(a.s.) in the Qur'an

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Honest Interviews : Amina Wadud

Imagine if Wadud got some sodium pentothal in her martini and gave an honest interview....

DrM : So Dr.Wadud, whats your story ?

AW : Well it started when I joined the NOI and then hooked up with the Black Panthers….

DrM : You don’t look old enough to have been a member of that organization…

AW : Why thank you!

DrM : No, no, it wasn’t a compliment…even though you do look like a charter member of the grey panther party.

AW : Oh that’s how it is huh? You think you’re a straight up G do you? Well guess what, you’re not going to pull a fast one on me like you did on Asra, Ahmed and Tarek. Bring it on…..

DrM : Testy huh? Don’t worry we’ll do things a little differently this time...interactive if you will. Lets start off with a softball question…what’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

AW : That’s easy. Terminator.

DrM : Terminator? The one with Arnold? That film wasn’t really scary..

AW : Are you kidding me? A white man who wouldn’t die….scared the hell out of me. I had nightmares for weeks…I threw knives at the screen!

DrM : ……………..

AW : What? I

DrM : Nothing…uh so what exactly was this whole “female led jummah.”

AW : Well, as you know, the progressive meetups were an utter failure. Those who did show up didn’t want to pay fees and thought they could hook up for free using the meetups. We also steal terms from the civil rights movement to lend us credibility.

DrM : I know, I went to one of the meetups. Getting back to my earlier question, is it true you were fired from a Malaysian university for trying to spread fitna..

AW : Oh no, I’m on temporary administrative leave you see…

DrM : Temporary administrative leave as in “you’re fired, don’t ever come back and take your RAND corporation pro-regressive garbage with you”?

AW : That’s it. I’m leaving. I‘m not going to put up with this.

DrM : uh okay….temporary or permanent?

AW : You’ll never have the pleasure of interviewing me again!

DrM : What a loss. See ya.

AW : ………………

DrM : What?

AW : Aren’t you going to try and stop me?

DrM : I thought you were leaving….

AW : Ok fine, I accept your apology…you talked me back into it…

DrM : But I didn’t…

AW : Get on with it fool.

DrM : Your female led jummah sham was based on what?

AW : It wasn’t a sham at all. It was based on the Hadith of Umm Warraqa.

DrM : But it’s a weak Hadith, and even then it only applies to woman leading other woman in prayer at home.

AW : Uh.. you’re twisting the Arabic of it because…

DrM : How am I twisting it? Do you speak Arabic?

AW : Not a word……..

DrM : Exactly…but first, a commercial break..

AW : What?! What do you mean “commercial break”?

DrM : We got some bills to pay here.

AW : What bills? You’re not broadcasting!

DrM : Well I got bills to pay. I could use a break after listening to that convoluted gibberish of yours.

AW : This is ridiculous.

DrM : Friends, are you sick of pro-regressive lies and deception? Are you fed up with freaks, pseudo-intellectuals, egotistical green card seeking third world communists and neocon gutter trash pretending to be Muslims? Go hit up the PMNUA debate blog for the lowdown. All callers west of the Himalayas dial 1-800-BAK-LAVA. All callers east of Himalayas dial 1-800-BIR-YANI. All crank callers dial 1-800-TEE-FATT. Only rotary calls tonight. If you’re calling from a touch tone phone you’re S.O.L.

AW : What the hell kind of commercial is that?!

DrM : The best kind. Ever heard of nepotism? Ok so where were we?

AW : You were asking me about my glorious career in the hallowed halls of academia.

DrM : No, I was asking if you were proficient in Arabic.

AW : What does that have to do with anything?

DrM : Well you claim to be an authority on Islam and said that I was misinterpreting the Umm Warraqa Hadith. You couldn’t make such statements if you were trained in classical Arabic.

AW : I don’t know a word of it. Home can interpreted as....well anyplace can be "home" you know...

DrM : Uh huh…I thought so…..but hold! What about the authentic hadith explicitly stating that the best rows for men are in the front and the best rows for woman are in the back?

AW : Never heard of it.

DrM : What do you mean you never heard of it? Its Sahih Muslim. Hang on a sec..,, since when did you proggies started following Hadith anyway?

AW : We only use the ones that can be interpreted for our purposes.

DrM : So you guys just ad lib it then….

AW : We don’t ad lib anything. Look…!

DrM : Go on….

AW : Its all Nomani’s fault. She pressured me into this!

DrM : And where did she get the idea for it?

AW : It was from that idiot Knight’s book.

DrM : You mean the dude who goes to ISNA playing pranks on people ?

AW : Exactly, I was just…

DrM : And now a word from our sponsor….

AW : Damnation!

DrM : Friends, have you ever been targeted by hackers from a meat market website? Don’t know what to do about it? Well look further as the Swordswoman fulfills her naseeb and slices and dices her to the facts. You‘d have to be a jackass not to look into this. Are you a jackass?

AW : Why the hell are you asking me?!

DrM : Well there’s no nobody else here…

AW : I hate you so much…

DrM : Ofcourse you do. We got somebody on the line….go ahead caller.

Caller : May you roast in hell Maxtor! How dare you give my phone number out?!

DrM : Who is this?

Caller : You know exactly who this is! Its Tarek Fatah dammit!.

DrM : Hey! How you doing buddy?

Caller : How am I doing?!? Those jerks who read your crappy blog crank called my cell and killed my anytime minutes.

DrM : Let me make it up to you T-Fat, there’s a bake sale in your current vicinity I think.

Caller : Oh, aren’t you funny? “HaHaHa” you fu…..!

DrM : Alright I’m putting him on hold, enjoy the elevator music tubby. So Dr.Wadud, you saying something about being pressured into leading the fake jummah?

AW : Don’t call it fake!

DrM : My bad, plenty of jummahs are held at art galleries I’m sure. Is it true you were praying towards the west?

AW : Depends what your definition of “west” is. Asra pressured me into it. She and that Egyptian with the footprint on his face thought it would be scandalous and photogenic to have me do it. Nobody bought my book so why not? I could use the free publicity.

Caller : EYAAAAA!

DrM : What the…? What was that?

Caller : Its me! I fought my way off hold!

DrM : What do you mean you “fought your way off hold”?

AW : Will you get rid of that ‘tard....this is my interview!

Caller : You better tell me where that bake sale is…..


DrM : oops, looks like we lost Tarek…I’m going to keep the phone off the hook so he doesn’t star69 me.

AW : I got more respect on the O’Reilly factor then this.

DrM : Naturally, FOX and the haters just love proggies.

AW : Oh you’re just jealous that nobody invites you to go on reich wing media networks to misrepresent Islam and Muslims.

DrM : Yep, I’m burning up with envy. I always wanted to be the center of attention on a Murdoch station.

AW : HaHa.

DrM : ..and now for the traffic report. Here’s Captain Paindu in the DrM copter..

AW : I got a feeling I’ve been brought here to be ridiculed.

DrM : Oh perish the thought. Go on Cap….

C. Paindu : We got an accident on the 110 freeway DrM. Reports indicate a pile up there after a fat man started flagging down cars asking the drivers for the directions to a bake sale. Right now he’s crying on the side of the road looking for a hotdog stand. Cops are on their way ready to pull a Rodney King …otherwise it looks like a smooth ride all around.

AW : That’s it. You’re giving me control of this blog right now.

DrM : Excuse me? I don’t think so….

AW : Get this : Either you give control of this blog, along with the user name and password or you racist.

DrM : Well that’s just not going to happen.

AW : Well can I atleast plug my upcoming book?

DrM : No you may not.

AW : Last chance Maxtor…either you do what I say or I’ll drop the N-bomb I hit that congregation in Toronto with.

DrM : Race baiting huh? You realize that this sort of irresponsible behavior lessens the impact and trivializes real cases of racism do you not?

AW : Hey, it works like a charm anytime I throw it around.

DrM : And on that note, you’re outta here.

AW : I still think you’re a racist(unless you hand over control of this blog). I bet you hate chitlins too.

DrM : Don’t you mean s***lins?

AW : Whatever, I’m leaving. I got interviews with TIME, Newsweek…

DrM : …and MAD magazine and the Weekly World News. But don’t worry, we’ll have you back on when you perform Umrah around the White house and Tawaf near Capital Hill.

AW : Hey! That’s not a bad idea….how about a fake Hajj too?

DrM : Only if it comes with a bull stampede like they do in Barcelona. Well that was nostril fillingly nauseating and the stench of your bull stool is enough to make a hemophiliac run amok on a cactus farm. Do visit us again Dr.Wadud.

AW : Really?

DrM : No. You can "lead" yourself out.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Jawad Ali's fagwa on ISNA 2006

Its ISNA convention time folks, and the proggies eagerly lie in wait with their predictable smears. This time(again) its MWU's resident aging horse faced homosexual Jawad Ali with his tirade against new ISNA new chief Dr.Ingrid Mattson, claiming she got the job because she's white. I suppose if she was black he would raise an issue about her hijab...pretty much anything to divert attention from her solid credentials. Incase some of you dont remember this reject from a San Francisco bath house, he slandered MuslimFest last year by claiming that Muslim woman were not allowed to participate when infact half the organizers were Muslim woman. Besides reapeating the usual proggie lies ad nauseam Ali smears Dr.Mattson, going as far as making indecent remarks about her leading fake salah Amina Wadud style and its effect on the male congregation. This is classic mwu behavior folks, ridden with disrespect, jealousy, filth and slander, not to mention race and gender baiting. I'd like to see this perverted bastard make these comments at the ISNA convention and see how he fares. No doubt his interest in "buttocks" is an extension of his fascination with the gluteal muscle group. You see Jawad, there are hardworking people out there who do constructive things and persue laudible endeavors, and then there are losers like you who in their useless unaccomplished midlife continue to take their shots in and from the rear end. Some people are has-beens, you are a never-was.

Friday, September 01, 2006

What do you have to say about this "christian Zionists"?

I found an excellent Catholic blog which takes "christian Zionists" to task for their fanatical support for Israel. More and more Christians are now recognizing "christian Zionism" for the nihilistic cult run by imperial heretics that it is. Who better suited for this task then Arab Christians, the oldest Christian community in the world? Check out these pics from the real life movie "Who I bombed last summer in southern Lebanon.

Now, compare these photos with this statement from A.D. 636, and think of how long Christian churches have survived intact in Muslim countries:

“In the name of God the merciful and the compassionate: Behold this promise to the people of Jerusalem of safe conduct for their persons, property, their churches, their healthy, and their sick. Their churches shall neither be used by us as dwellings nor destroyed, and no constraint shall be exercised among them in religion, nor shall any harm be done to any of them. This document is placed under the surety of God and the protection of the Prophet Mohammed, the Caliphs, and the believers, on condition that the inhabitants of Jerusalem pay the jizya (tax) that is due from them.”