Sunday, December 31, 2006

Top 10 Pro-regressive Moslim Idiots of 2006

Faster then a politician can shoot his buddy in the face during a game of Nintendo's classic Duck hunt, as 2006 draws to a close, its time once again to highlight the most obnoxious, fake and divisive individuals from the proggie movement. Anti-Muslim hate cartoons and attacks on Muslimas separated the Muslims from the proggies in 2006. This year, they fully lent their support to rabid Islamophobes and if there are still some of you out there on whom subtlety is wasted, read this disclaimer before proceeding any further. With that out of the way, let us not tarry any longer.

10) Its a well known fact that the meat market site, Naseeb, is a pretty lame place. Notice they didn't have their little "Naseeb meet up" this year. Less then 400 out of 1200 seats occupied last year. Not exactly a full house. Everybody else was at ISNA it seems. That was in 2005, this year however, it was revealed that Naseeb does not respect its own terms of service. So what happens to those members who are critical of the website? You win the grand prize of having your account hacked and your private information used for all sorts of nefarious purposes. Our good friend, the Swordswoman is in the process of taking them to court for their crimes. Crappy recycled articles, and psuedo-intellectual 40 year old bachelor and bachelorettes aside, if I were Monis Rahman (Naseeb CEO), I'd settle the case in court, and quickly.

9) Then we have Raheel “Hey Canadian media, I’m a “moderate,” interview me already” Raza. Who? She’s a Pakistani socialite living in Canada for the last 17 years. An obnoxious “auntie” in desi speak, a veritable bag of fermenting potatoes with much to say, none of it remotely relevant, unless you count vanity as the yard stick. Apparently she’s such a well known interfaith groupie, no one has ever heard of her. One would assume that a person claiming to represent a faith would have some rudimentary knowledge of it, and Raza has none(rumor has it that she is a member of the Ahmediya cult). Why else would she be a member of the criminal MCC? Why else would Raza come out in full support of Jack Straw’s racist political powerful play against Muslim woman in niqab? Why is she promoting neocon fake sufi Stephan “Suleyman Ahmed a.k.a. Comrade Sandalio” Schwartz’s book on her website? Rather extreme bedfellows for a “moderate,” don't you think? Enjoy those Danish cookies you like so much Raheel, I hear they do wonders for diabetes. Move along, Shamoo.

8) Meet Denmark’s token colored immigrant politician Naser Khader, named after Gamal Abdul Nasser, another failed, forgotten and disgraced demagogue. Has he done anything besides breaking the speed limit and giving the middle finger to his constituents? Sure. Khader created an organization called “Democratic Muslims” using the momentum generated by Anti-Muslim cartoons to put some wind in his stagnant political sails. One problem though, the organization isn’t democratic, nor is it Muslim. This was by design of course, which explains why he rolled out the red carpet for the likes of non-muslim fraudsters, Irshad Manji and Wafa Sultan. Why not just add Big Bird and Tickle Me Elmo to lend some heavy weight credentials? But enough about this loser with a puppeteers pipe dream….

7) The Muslim Canadian Congress(MCC) a.k.a. exiled Pakistani league of Stalinist cockroaches was formed as a group specifically to counter legitimate Muslim civil rights organizations, to muddy the waters if you will. Its other function is to promote the political aspirations of secular extremist opportunists who have no interest or links to Islam or the Muslim community. Recently it fractured into separate factions, no doubt due to the disease known as chronic Egomanicus Immigrantitis. So what have these refugees from a pancake box accomplished so far? Civil rights work? Nope. Distribution of accurate literature on Islam to libraries? Nope. Pro-active community outreach efforts? Nope. Charity work? Sure, as long they are the charity(Who are they funded by anyway?). Support for reactionary anti-Muslim propaganda? Yep. Idiot(s) number 7? You better believe it.

6) Phony Sufis seem to be all the rage these days, or so you would think. Across the Atlantic in jolly old England, a group of fake Sufis formed the “Sufi Muslim Council” to undermine the Muslim council of Britain at the behest of Bliar Labour government. A similar attempt was made a decade earlier in the U.S. with the failed “Islam Supreme Council of America.” The common link between the two groups ? “Sheikh” Hisham Kabbani, the neocon affiliated charlatan hiding behind his clip on beard while doing the tango with the likes of Bush, Bliar and a coterie of vicious dictators like Karimov of Uzbekistan. So much for the “apolitical sufi” act, now I understand why some animals eat their young. I’d like to see this goon spin, and I don’t mean in a “twirling” sort of way.

5) In his search for a new gimmick(donut and hotdog pornography only goes so far) amid plummeting mwu traffic, Jawad Ali had to do something. The Weekly World News tabloid gets more online traffic. The fact that more people are willing to believe that Elvis and Sasquatch are having lunch in Alpha Centauri then mwu’s recycled garbage is indicative of how utterly repungnent this wasteland of an online magazine has truly become. Jawad decided to start stealing fatwas from various websites like Ask Imam, Fatwa bank. He then proceeded to deliberetly misconstrue their meanings, and ridicule the knowledge and credentials of the Scholars. Jawad seems to think that marital relations between husband and wife is rape, I suppose to a putrid, air-polluting disgrace who spends copious amounts of time in a slimy San Francisco bath house, he couldn’t conclude otherwise. The outrageously petty pervert called his little spin “Fatwa of the week,” More like “Fagwa of the week,” if you ask me. But that’s not all, he smeared Ingrid Mattson of ISNA in a particularly demeaning and sexist way. Why? She’s not interested in leading fake salats. Apparently his “concern” for Muslim woman does not extend beyond aging promiscuous harpies on the RAND payroll. Go figure. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being an unaccomplished middle aged, balding, horse faced, brokeback mountaineer flagellating aimlessly like a spineless rodent in the gutter. That’s proggies for you. Do us a favor Jawad, kindly return HIV back to the monkeys.

4) Looking for an example precociously incompetent sycophant and a malodorous, armpit-licking pimple on the face of journalism? Look no further then the neocons favorite presstitude for hire, Mona Eltahawy. Imported from the Egyptian client state, with a recommendation from none other then Paul Wolfowitz, the vile judeofascist war criminal, known for his fondness for loose yet ideologically subservient Arab woman(just ask his Saudi girlfriend). Eltahawy is major proponent of the pro-regressive shahada, “A Muslim is anyone who claims to be one.” Essentially you’re a Muslim if you fancy biryani and baklava. I guess she came up with that while munching on her first E.Coli laced burger, thinking herself an American from then on. Eltahawy’s one dimensional articles are awful, yet music to the ears of the Islamophobic choir she caters to. Just do a search on her and find out yourself. The harridan knows which side her falafel is fried on. One particularly disgusting article proclaimed that “911 was good for the Muslim world.” Why? Because this was her chance to cash and claim to be a representative of the community. Quran desecration? Big deal, “it’s just a book.” Are you terrified of the niqab? “Well, me too!” Try finding any criticism of neocons and the war against Iraq in her columns, when you won’t you’ll understand why she’s syndicated. Eltahawy has also discovered that Arab media practices censorship, but only after being fired from a third rate Saudi paper. Great timing, but I guess a 40 year old bimbo going on 16 has to maximize her earnings and work both sides of the fence. Lets also not forget the she’s the obligatory “democracy advocate.” Right, might as well expect the hunchback of Notre Dame to sit up straight. A common line she often uses is “As a Muslim, a woman, a feminist, an Arab..,” I don’t think even fans believe that one. Well Ms.Eltahawy, as a non-pro-regressive Muslim not for sale, and someone unimpressed with hucksters with one foot in the media, the other in a neocon brothel, you ought to be beaten senseless with the broom you rode in on. If there were any standards left in journalism, you’d be mopping the floors over at the National Inquirer with a leash around your neck.

3) 2) 1) The year was 1989. The Berlin Wall came down. Millions celebrated and the Tom Cruise of the Pro-regressive bowel movement, Tarek Fatah, the demented, snake-eyed plague of sighing and grief, and flea-infested hysterical mass of warbling punjabi inanity suffered yet another set back in a blockbuster career of uninterrupted failures. I’m not going to waste time and space recapping every detail of his heart-sickening plot less melodrama of an uneventful life. Ever since he conned his way into Canada 18 years ago, he has been unable to win even the most insignificant political office. His attempts to sound like a 1940s Englishman are particularly pathetic. Rumor has it that his FOB name was “Tom Dollar.” If you ask me, this radioactive hippo isn’t qualified to lick a stamp sideways. 2006 witnessed the greasy, gooey, stale gulab jamooney, glyceriny, gutter gestating goofball’s full transformation into a neocon lapdog (to which communism is the common gateway drug) along with shameless efforts to promote himself by playing victim to fake death threats with grave warnings about the phantom menace of “Islamism.” A Green Day poster is not a death threat. People disagreeing with your dirty politics do not constitute a death threat. Being named last year's top idiot is not a threat. So what do most people do when threatened? They call the cops and lodge a report. Fatah never did so, knowing full well that filing fake police reports is a prosecutable crime. But of course we know there are real death threats, and then....there are “death threats,” used by many an anti-muslim media whore.

In reality, Fatah’s sudden “moderate muslim” martyr complex was the result of him switching political parties from the NDP to the Liberals. Then came his “resignation” from the sock puppet MCC (he didn’t even cite death threats in his resignation letter, instead claiming he needed the time to work on his “memoirs” and work for Liberal party politician, Bob Rae). Rae came in third confirming T-Fat’s political midas touch. Ever the gracious loser, Fatah then went on a tirade about how “Islamists” had cost his candidate the nomination. Right, anybody who doesn’t vote for your way is an “Islamist.” Any wonder why this charlatan is so wildly unpopular? Did I mention that he opposes religious education for Muslim girls? Hmm, sounds familiar....Bet you didnt know that he and Irshad Manji were the original founders of the MCC.

Well T-Fat, commemorating your second straight year as the top pro-regressive idiot( in fact the top 3 this year) and in the spirit of the new year, let me just say: maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you didn't have an intellect rivalled only by the Village Idiot's stupider brother, if your weren't so grossly fat that you have to put your belt on with a boomerang, or if you didn't have a face like a boiled Octopus. To put it mildly, you are an egregiously subliterate oaf and a debauched, gossip-mongering cesspool of putrid effluvium. Try not to be on the list next year, creep. Who am I kidding, you'll probably snag all ten spots o repugnant, nose-picking glob of grease.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Cholo who nearly stole Christmas

Recently back in my old southern California stomping grounds and bored out of my skull on Christmas, I dropped in on my good friend from med school, the very semitic Dr.H(100% USDA certified Ay-rab) aka the beardless Angry Mutawah. You'll be hard pressed to find a better orthopedic surgeon(and practical joker) in the nation.
We had decided to go to one of the finest Chinese Muslim restaurants in the area. Before we left, he noticed somebody jumping the fence on the security monitor while I was busy channel surfing. Dr.H went and confronted the culprit, who was now outside the property scoping out the rest of the joint. This cholo claimed to have been on his way to meet his kids in a neighboring city and needed the "shortcut." By this time I entered the fray, which startled him(don't know if it was the kufi or the beard, my two favorite flying accessories) while Dr.H went back in to call the cops. I pulled out the trusty DrM digital camera and asked him to say "cheese" which as you can tell from the picture, he didn't. All smiles isn't he? He didn't look or act high but his story certainly wasn't genuine. You don't go prowling around peoples homes in the middle of the night claiming to be on your way to meet your kids. I tried to keep him talking while the cops were on their way but he decided to exit stage left. Ten minutes later the cops arrived, good thing this was an affluent neighborhood otherwise they'd show up in a couple of hours.
We gave them the relevant information and they were on their way, and we decided to heat up some leftover pizza and stay in. We found out later that this guy had a criminal record and was seen in the area before. It may not sound like a big deal to some but there are a lot of home invasion robberies this time of the year, some fatal. Keep the lights on and your eyes open. Keep safe inshallah.
And before I forget : congratulations to my good friend Felix(not a cholo, but the fuzzy dice on his dashboard has got to go) on the birth of his beautiful and healthy neice, Laura.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

My first kidney...

I found this old cross section of a kidney I had drawn back in the early 90s(click on the pic to see the details). Before medicine, I was a wee lad and aspiring artist, with a particular talent for sketching human faces and bodies. However, I decided to play it safe and stick to drawing inanimate objects due to the Islamic prohibition on the depiction of the living.
I was fairly good at scenery and was told I had a future in art school. I'm not sure I would have turned out to be a professional though.

Pregnancy at Israeli Checkpoints

From IOL

For many Palestinian women in the occupied West Bank, pregnancy has become a nightmarish experience, fearing that their babies would be delivered stillborn at Israeli checkpoints or they would be tear-gassed, and maybe killed, en route to hospital.

"Recently, two of our pregnant patients here were tear-gassed in their homes ... The women couldn't breathe and went into premature labor," Hindia Abu Nabah, a steely 31-year-old staff nurse at Al-Zawya Clinic in Salfit district, told Britain's The Independent newspaper Saturday, December 23.

"By the time we got there, the babies had been delivered stillborn," she added.

Jamilla Alahad Naim is waiting for her first medical check-up of her five-month pregnancy.

"I am frightened all the time," says the 29-year-old woman.

"... I know I will give birth at home with no help, like I did with Mohammed [her last child]. I am too frightened to go to hospital because there are two checkpoints between our home [and there] and I know if you are detained by the soldiers, the mother or the baby can die out there in the cold. But giving birth at home is very dangerous too."

Many pregnant Palestinian women traveling to hospitals to give birth are usually locked up at Israeli checkpoints.

They ended up delivering their babies with no doctors or sterilized equipment, only in the shadow of the Israeli checkpoints and under the watch of occupation soldiers.

According to the UN estimates, a total of 36 Palestinian babies have died because their mothers were detained during labor at Israeli checkpoints.

Giving birth in startlingly similar conditions to those suffered by the Virgin Mary 2,000 years ago, Fadia Jemal in Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus Christ, is also trying not to howl.

"What would happen if the Virgin Mary came to Bethlehem today? She would endure what I have endured," Fadia Jemal told the paper.

"It was 5pm when I started to feel the contractions coming on," says Fadia in broken, jagged sentences.

As she was en route to the Hussein hospital along with her sister and husband, they found the road blocked by Israeli soldiers who said that nobody was allowed to cross until morning. (Many deliveries take place in early AM hours)

"I was bleeding very heavily on the back seat. One of the soldiers looked down at the blood and laughed. I still wake up in the night hearing that laugh. It was such a shock to me. I couldn't understand." ( I can tell you why, he's a typical judeofascist war criminal )

The pregnant woman delivered on the car's back seat with no doctors and no nurses.

She gave birth to a tiny boy called Mahmoud and a tiny girl called Mariam.

Doctors said they could have saved Mahmoud's life by getting him to an incubator.

Since her delivery in 2002, Fadia has miscarried for four times.

"When I see the [Israeli] soldiers I keep thinking - what did my baby do to Israel?" (The baby's crime was being born to a Palestinian mother)

In addition of the Israeli draconian measures, many pregnant Palestinian women are suffering consequences of the Western siege on the Palestinians. (Yep, calcium, folate and iron tablets are WMDs)

Nearly 30% of pregnant Palestinians suffer from anemia, a lack of red blood cells.(Iron deficiency anemia, actually)

"Tell your readers that we need their help," Hindia Abu Nabah, nurse, told the paper's correspondent. (Donate here)

"There are no Hamas or Fatah fetuses. They don't deserve to be punished," she added.

The United States and European Union, the two biggest donors to the Palestinian Authority, suspended aid to the Palestinians since the new Hamas-led government came to power in March. ("Its not democracy unless you vote in someone we approve off")

"I couldn't stand to look another anemic woman in the eye and tell her that her baby will be underweight or malformed and we don't have iron supplements to give her," said Hindia.

"I can't go back to that. I can't."

Sunday, December 17, 2006

This man wants to "kill all Muslim kids"

Normally, I don't give right wing scum free publicity. However, Islamophobia Watch brought to my attention a call by a Florida based blogger named Vilmar Tavares of "right wing howler" fame to "kill all Muslim kids."
CAIR-Florida alerted the web hosting company which promptly shut the site down. Kudos to them. Despite media attempts to contact him, Tavaras has "no comment." Guess he doesn't feel much like howling.
Predictably, his gutter snipe supporters are screaming "freedom of speech." Uh, NO. While a degenerate like Tavaras has the right to hate whoever he wants, he does not have any "right" whatsoever to call for anyones murder, especially children. Then theres the "what about "jihadi" websites" line. What about them? Such websites are shut down all the time and they don't represent an iota of the Muslim presence online. No dice nazis. This is just a shallow and feeble excuse to justify hatred of all Muslims across the board. The call to murder all Muslim Kids, would include millions of Muslim American boys and girls, and by extension their parents who would do all in their power to defend and protect their children. Tavaras is a domestic terrorist in the making. This sadistic bastard ought to be arrested and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. This is not a "fatwa" or a threat, but my freedom of speech to put a picture of his ugly mug up. Certainly Muslim parents throughout the nation, particularly Tampa Bay, Florida have every right to know what the self-proclaimed would-be murderer of their children looks like. Click on the screen shot below :

UPDATE : Tavares has decided to quit blogging altogether claiming that this had been his intention for a long time. Right. Perfect timing. "FrankJ," the bottom feeder whose "kill all Muslim kids" rant Tavaras echoed now claims it was written as "satire"( hint : wishful thinking and pipe dreams) Perhaps he could try out his new found word craft by yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre. Wonder how that would play out in court. Better yet, why don't I just take my trusty guillotine( contructed out of original Lego parts) and demand his head for initiation of vermin who openly call for murdering children? Ofcourse I'm being "satirical," you believe me don't you?

Saturday, December 16, 2006

So wheres the "Save the Congo" coalition ?

I've been hearing a lot about Darfur lately, and the terrible situation there. Before I continue any further on this topic, lets get something straight : Africa is a CONTINENT, with several nations, languages and religions, facts which the geographically illiterate don't seem to comprehend.
Bad enough that there are several conflicts raging in the African continent, yet there is a very slick and specific "Save Darfur" campaign in circulation these days. Problem is, its run by the usual suspects. Yoshie of Critical Monatages has the lowdown. Read it carefully.
So why Darfur?(Short answer : Sudan has a lot of oil) Why not the Republic of Congo where over 4 million people have been killed( ten times that of Darfur). Angola? Seirra Lione? Liberia? Somalia? Anybody even remember Rwanda anymore? Ethiopia? Oh but I guess this was before Hollywood celebs started the "adopt an african baby" trend(I guess its more fashionable, or photogenic then adopting the orphans left in the wake of Katrina). The politics of intervention rarely has to do with a humanitarian impulse, but rather exploitation as history has demonstrated over and over again. This is not to say that what is happening in Darfur is acceptable or should be allowed to continue, but rest assured that if the usual suspects get involved, they will make the situation worse as their intentions are far from altruistic. Think about it, zionazis treat Ethiopian falasha jews like dirt, and they've been ethnically cleansing Palestinians for decades, they'd love the opportunity to have world attention focused elsewhere. Lets not forget their lackeys, the Evangelical armagodnists who traditionally supported racial segregation and have thrown their messianic weight behind the wars against the peoples of Iraq(650000 plus dead), Palestine, and Lebanon praying that their Rapture acid trip is right around the corner.
Right....if you believe that these two groups of criminals give a damn what happens to the people of Darfur, you probably believe that Michael Jackson has the best of intentions when he opens up his daycare center for kids.

Encouraging Medical news

Major breakthrough in Diabetes research (Identification of specific pain receptors in the pathogensis of the disease, sounds very promising)

Breast Cancer rates drop sharply (Too early to celebrate IMHO, I suspect its not just lack of hormone replacement therapy)

Monday, December 11, 2006

They're after Carter now.........

Yep, they're at it again, this time gunning for Jimmy Carter and his new book Palestine : Peace, not Apartheid. Forget Keith Ellison, we're talking about the 39th President of the US. If the usual suspects can smear him as an anti-semite(Arabs(Muslim, Christian and Jewish) are the largest group of semites in the world, not the khazarites frauds from East Europe), they can smear anybody, including Pokemon. I wonder where are all those phony "freedom of speech" advocates went? A little "self-censorship" there, boys? Is there ever such a fuss whenever Israeli propaganda(comprising the majority of books on the subject in the US) is published? No. Are there ever calls for opposing view points whenever Israeli propaganda is published? No. Are the majority of books available on the conflict factual? No.
Carter is wrong to say that apartheid exists only in the occupied territories and not in Israel "proper", listen carefully to the question of the first caller.

and this one....

I'd like to recommend the following to the uninitiated :

Facts & Fables : The Arab-Israeli conflict is one of the finest books on the origin of the conflict. This 220 page hardcover is needed on every bookshelf. It's been out of print for almost 20 years, so get it now for under $5.

Then we have former Congressman Paul Findley's books on the subject. Wonder why he's a FORMER congressman? Get these books and find out.
Even the usual suspects(you know how they are with the benjamins) can afford them at $0.08 and $0.91, respectively.

This one is a personal favorite of mine, written by the late, and great Ahmed Deedat. You can read it online for free here, or purchase the DVD.

Finally, don't forget to go watch Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Flatulence at Forty thousand feet

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition. ( Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis perhaps? She could have played it off by pretending to be a metal head with a lighter in her hand. ).

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.( Profiled for breaking wind )

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said. ( Why are matches allowed on a plane? What, American Airlines doesn't provide toothpicks to its passengers? Perhaps its a way of comparing match stick collections? )

I can imagine the headlines if the passenger was a Muslim : Nefarious Mooslim terrorizes plane with deeply embedded g(ass) bomb." Unless you're on any meds, a great way to stave of the simmering and fermenting gaseous stew in the gluteal furnace is to take a activated charcoal capsule. Its always a good idea to take a low dose aspirin pill(prevention of pulmonary embolisms) while flying. Finally, a well deserved tip of the hat to my erudite comrade Felix for pointing out this most important news story. Thanks for adding to my travel anxiety, player. Now I can't enjoy desi or Mexican food and share the spice(in sublimated form) flying the unfriendly skies.

Monday, December 04, 2006

ZioNazis just can't quit Keith Ellison

I had really hoped not to blog about Keith Ellison. Yes, I know its symbolic and all for him to be the first Muslim ever to get elected to Congress, but he should be judged by how he will vote and if he doesn't deliver, he's out of work. Till he takes office in January, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. However, the usual suspects have other plans, and they've got Ellison clearly in their target scope.
You see, Ellison wants to be sworn in with this hand firmly placed on the Holy Qu'ran. Not so fast says Dennis Prager. Who? What, you've never heard of Prager? I'm shocked, I really am. Dennis Prager is a jewish extremist(with accordion) who sits in a box for several hours a day playing AM radio talk show host. He wants Ellison to be sworn in on the Bible, because would be against American culture if the Holy Qur'an was used. Prager even makes a comparison to Hitler's Mein Kampf. Thats funny coming from a practitioner of the hate filled tracts of the Talmud. Does he not know that using any scripture is purely ceremonial and optional? Does he not know the US constitution makes no mention of any scripture? Does he approve of jewish members of Congress using the Torah? Ofcourse he does, and thats ok because a zionist like Prager hates all Muslims, no exceptions. It is in the spirit of that politically/religiously motivated hatred he slapped together something called " 5 questions for the Muslim world" last year. I had my own questions for him(check the comments section).
Like many of his extremist co-tribalists, Prager is a first order hypocrite and complete work of trash. We're expected to believe that this schmuck whose loyalty is first and foremost to Israel gives a shekel about America, and its culture? Speaking of culture, what is Prager's contribution to America? Draft dodging and dumbing down the populace through a third rate radio program? Writing books no one buys? Supporting the use of American tax dollars to build illegal settlements for terrorists on ocuupied Palestinian lands? Yeah, I though so. In a Congress full of corrupt career politicians, pedophiles, liars and sell outs we're supposed to worry about letting in Keith Ellison, whose worst offense is unpaid parking tickets? Oh the tragedy! Anything to keep Muslim Americans marginalized. Heres how it works schlomos, you don't kick sand in my face, and I wont relieve myself in your tapeworm infested gefilte fish. Otherwise Its time for a pork eating contest. Ellison was elected by the people of Minnesota to be their representative in Congress, so get over it. He doesn't have to prove anything to a bunch of fifth column pseudo-patriots and judeofascists.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Flying while Muslim with snakes on a plane

By now we've all heard about the six Imams thrown off a US Airways plane. Why? Because a malicious illiterate decided to have some fun and play "pass the note." Now its one thing to be vigilant, its another when you make up stories about passengers who have more melanocytes in their skin then you. Predictably, the usual suspects(the Moonie owned neoclown Washington Times, judeofascists and trailer park contingent) have started a smear campaign against the Imams. The same thing happened to a trio of Muslim medical students by a hillbilly butter hog in Florida a few years ago. Why is racial profiling acceptable in the US? Because it doesn't affect the majority of Americans, who are caucasians. Thats the cold hard truth. The Imams are now going to take US Airways to court and I hope they win a nice settlement, I really do. Let me share a little "flying while Muslim" story with you. Years ago, while boarding a plane headed for Chicago, a wrinkly old white man started giving me dirty looks. I stared back and said "Hey buddy, if you like what you see, take a picture." He didn't take a picture but he did fixate his cataract filled headlights elsewhere. I don't like flying and can sympathize with the anxiety that comes with it, but don't think that I'm going to stay silent if some anonymous bastard onboard decides to fabricate flights of fancy. People like these ought to be heavily fined with the possibility of jail time, and prevented from flying lest they demonstrate the degree of maturity required to function in civil society. Until then I'll be doing the profiling. Guess who I'm keeping an eye on?

Whats the difference between Braveheart and Kramer ?

Ok, so both guys said stupid things, both apologized and yet its Mel Gibson's religion which is picked on. No, Kramer is not Catholic, so save the damage control for someone less savvy. Whats even more interesting is that the zionist extremist ADL's Abe Foxman was trying to make excuses for Kramer's behavior "forgive and forget" style on CNN. This coming from the same man who was huffing and puffing over a pokemon card back in the 90s. Thats right, a Pokemon card with a manji symbol! In Japan, the symbol predates the Nazis by centuries, it means good fortune and can also represent a Buddhist temple. The usual suspects even "suggested" that Nintendo of Japan actually "donate" money to a Holocaust fund. Talk about hubris.

So Michael Richards can go off on a racist tirade and we have to "let the healing begin." Yet we have a drunk Mel Gibson fumbling about in the wee hours of the night and we're to boycott him for life. Funny how that works huh? A very slippery slope this "freedom of speech" business. Lined with the grease of hypocrisy.
But the final word goes to the razor sharp comedian Paul Mooney. Watch as he owns Kramer and FAUX news flunky Greta Van Susteran. If only we had more comedians of this caliber, there wouldn't be any sub par has beens like Kramer around.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Yet another day in the occupied territories... schlumoid terrorists attack human rights workers( for walking Palestinian kids to school ). Let me guess, the 19 year old woman on the ground was firing rockets into Israel, right?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

All in the Neocon family

Connect the dots with this excellent article from yesteryear. If you think the midterm elections amount to diddley squat when it comes to ziofascist malefactors in and out of government, well...I've got bridge in Baghdad to sell you.
(Hat tip : Shahed Amanullah for corrections)

Friday, November 10, 2006

Proggies show their true colors,....again

Well heres a shock, the remnants of the wildly unpopular and dead "Muslim Canadian Congress" has released a statement "rejecting" the niqab. Not that anyone asked them, but its kind of redundant that a group of aging, unaccomplished Pakistani communists holed up in Canada which rejects deen altogether has to announce this. The MCC simply did this to get some desperately needed publicity out of degenerate Jack Straw's racist political power play. Mona Eltahawy, the notorious anti-Muslim neocon presstitude parasite has also used the opportunity to stoke the flames of confusion and hatred. Here's where we get out the thesaurus and look up synonyms for "sycophant."
The question of the niqab is not even the issue. Its about Muslim woman wearing what they want, and it isn't anyones business. Isn't it telling that at a time when Muslim woman are being spat upon, attacked and even killed for their faith that proggies jump on the anti-Muslim bandwagon. Not that I'm surprised or anything. The munafiqs are willing to get behind a woman leading fake salats, but will stand against one if she covers herself. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.

Check out Mere Islam's refutation of this nonsense ( hat tip Indigo Jo )

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The DrM guide to voting

In the current political climate I don't believe voting can accomplish much if anything. However, I vote simply because I'm not a lazy, apathetic, corpulent jackball. Change cant happen if morons are watching "Dancing with the stars" and "American idol." That being said, I have a number of changes I'd like to propose to fix the system :

1) Voting is mandatory for every citizen. If you don't vote, kiss your heating goodbye.

2) NO electronic voting. Forget the trees, PAPER VOTES only.

3) ONE term only. No career politicians. No Joe Liebermans. No Strom Thurmonds.

4) If you're pro-war, you must enlist in the army to make your vote count.

5) Literacy tests : if you don't know the issues and fail the test, your vote is turned into a paper airplane and slammed into a trash can.

6) All PACs lobbying on behalf of foreign governments are outlawed. No dual-citizenship with any country, particularly those whose name starts with an "I" and ends with a "srael."

7) If you're an evangelical(who may or may not like a backrub from poofters for hire) trying to trigger armageddon by funding terrorist states and illegal settlements, you're barred from voting for 5 years and raptured straight to Gitmo. Halleluyah indeed.

8) Standardized salaries for all politicians(48k per year before taxes sounds reasonable). No pay raises.

9) If you oppose stem cell research, you don't get to vote and your health care is revoked, followed by a complimentary beating from Michael J. Fox. Pro-life = Pro-stem cell research.

10) ....and finally, if you weigh over 300lbs get on my diet plan or we raise your taxes.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

ZioNazis doing what they do best...........................

From Sabbah's blog : 2 year old Palestinian prisoner released from Israeli prison. Aiysha’s mother gave birth to her while detained in an Israeli prison. Aiysha was released two days ago, her mother is still being detained under “Administrative Detention,” in other words, no charge, no trial, nothing…just a unilateral Israeli decision to detain her for 6 months at a time, already renewed 4 times!

A 12-year-old girl was killed by a single bullet fired by an Israeli sniper as the murderous zionazi terrorists continue their rampage in Gaza. Check out this clip of the "most moral army in the world."

5 cowardly Schlomos jump a Pakistani-American and beat him with brass knuckles. They were surprised upon arrest. I guess they thought they were in Israel where this sort of thing goes unpunished.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Doing it Evangelical style.......

By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the sex scandal of evangelical big shot Rev. Ted Haggard. I'm not going to rant about the evangelical pro-zionazi armagedonist nihilistic culture of death. Atleast not today.
I oppose gay marriage, and think its one of the most regressive steps a society can take. So does Ted Haggard. One problem though, he's been brokeback mountaineering for the last 3 years.
No, says Haggard, a married man with 5 children. He only got crystal meth and a massage by a gay hooker. Glad you cleared that up rev. Thats what I call an anointing....

But we shouldn't generalize or anything like that. Just ask Pat Robertson(who used fto requent Korean brothels before becoming the ironman who bench presses 1000 lbs today), Paul Crouch( TBN founder, and secret pole polisher), Marvin Gorman(had an extramarital affair with one of his parishioners), Jim Bakker( caught with Jessica Hahn) and some guy called Jimmy Swaggart pictured on the right confessing to some vague sin (multiple prostitutes, and in one case trying to get a 9 year old).
Looks like armageddon can wait.................................

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Why Islamophobes run away from face to face debates

This is a clip of Nadir Ahmed of Examine the truth on why and how the usual suspects refuse to debate. Like a shiver looking for a spine to run under........................

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Muslimah murdered execution style in front of her 3 year daughter

Ina lilahi wa ina ilayhi raji3oun. (Hat tip Salika Sufisticate). The brazen murder of 37 year old Alia Ansari, mother of six didnt happen in Iraq, or Palestine or any of the hotspots we often hear about. It happened in Fremont, California. The murderer got out of his car, shot her in the head, and drove off. Both she and her three year old daughter were on their way to pick up her kids from school. She was also wearing hijab, which her family believes was the motive behind her killing. Three women at the Islamic Society of the East Bay said they would continue to wear head scarves even if the killing was a hate crime. "Even if they wiped out everyone on Earth, I would not remove the hijab," said Suzanne Azim, 43, a Hayward resident.
Islamophobia certainly shouldnt be ruled out at a time when Muslim woman are being targetted by the usual suspects.

A trust fund has been established to help support Ansari's husband of 17 years, Ahmad, and her six children. Deposits can be made into account No. 55041477 at any Fremont Bank location.

Fremont Bank
General Contacts
General Information
(510) 792-2300

Checks can also be made to the "Ansari Family'' at Washington Mutual, account No. 3091558830

Also check out this article.

UPDATE 10/26/06 : Suspect identified

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Fascist secularism gone wild : Unprofessional French Gynaecologists

Amid all the condenscending anti-veil rubbish and racist attacks on Europe's Muslims, the French National College of Gynaecologists and Obstetricians issued a public declaration, "rejecting any moves to undermine the principle that public hospitals are part of a secular state, in which patients must accept being examined by a doctor of the opposite sex." This "declaration" came after reports thats a Muslim assaulted a gynaecologist after his wife suffered childbirth complications. Details as usual(we're talking about a Murdoch rag here), are sketchy. Notice how its implied that religion had some role in the altercation, and how this incident is being used to justify violating the rights of female patients by not honoring a common request.
Let me share a few details of how the patient-physician relationship works. For starters the patient is the boss, they have every right to raise concerns about anything, including the right to be examined by a member of the same sex. I've had a few of such requests from female patients, and each and every one was a non-Muslim. So theres nothing odd or uniquely Islamic about it. I didnt take it personally, and as expected of a professional complied with the wishes of the patient. And guess what? Thats the basis of a solid patient-physician relationship. Its not about you, but the patient. You dont get to pick who you want to treat!
Instead what we have here are narcisstic French prima donnas trying to stir the pot of anti-Muslim hatred which has become the standard of mindless fascist secularism run amok in Europe these days. What sort of health care professional behaves like this? A throughly unprofessional one, and if any of these idiots pulled such antics here, they would be suspended and their medical licenses revoked, and rightly so. But ofcourse this has nothing to do with medicine, but with a former colonial power trying to get its kicks by attacking religious and racial minorities in its own backyard. Who in their right mind would want to be "integrated" and "assimilated" into a "culture" like this? I wouldnt. I'd argue that by making life harder for Muslims going about their day to day business, the French and their imitators( 2 third rate former colonies come to mind) are infact going to politisize them and fuel lasting ill will towards the state. My advice to Muslimahs going into the medical field would be to strongly consider going into OBGYN, there are many woman who have no time for the politcs of exclusion and are in need of your care.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

A closer look at micro-finance

Muhammed Younus has been awarded the 2006 Nobel Peace prize, "for his efforts to create economic and social development from below." It sounds like a pretty impressive scheme, and some Muslims are ecstatic(not as bad as the ridiculous amount of adulation for the Iranian-American space tourist, hey its her money but $20 million can feed a lot of people(you can feed a Palestinian family of 7 a month for just $125)) at Younus at winning "one for the ummah." Now I'm not an economist, but I have to wonder why if the Grameen Bank has been doing such a fantastic job since 1976, why is poverty in Bangladesh worse then ever? Granted that its foolish to expect a single bank or model to uplift a country of 147 million people, but does all this noise about the micro-credit system live up to the hype? A little too good to be true perhaps? I'm not so sure but I found a couple of interesting articles on the subject :

Bandaid Bandwagon
Loans self employed

Friday, October 13, 2006

Over 650000 dead Iraqis, and counting..................

The news just made it to the headlines and already the reich wing gutter snipes are tearing it apart. Reality challenged, epidemiologically illiterate and blood thirsty bastards that they are, they'd like us all to believe "Hey its a picnic in Iraq." Sure it is! Who would want to stay home when you have electricity only 4 hours a day? Who would you rather believe? The same lying group of criminal neocon thugs or the Johns Hopkins University's Bloomberg School of Public Health and The Lancet Journal of Medicine?

Check out Juan Cole's analysis of this damning statistic.

And the numbers do add up !

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Hands off Nazis !

This is getting out of control. British war criminal Jack Straw's comments( Hey jackass, if you have communication problems, then leave politics and off you go to special ed classes. 27 years and NOW you have trouble communicating with your constituents? Apparently you didnt have problem communicating when asking for the Muslim vote in the past. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your current political aspirations after your awful performance on British tv right?) against Muslim woman have unleashed a wave of racist attacks on the community(never mind the fact that British nazi terrorists have been caught red handed with explosives, but hey who cares about that?). Fascist Danish gutter snipes are acting up and the Pope isnt helping matters much either.

This was spray painted at the home of an Indian Catholic family. Apparently you dont even have to be a Muslim to get this sort of reception. Just be as dark as possible and look "foreign" to be considered a Muslim. This also validates my thesis that a good nazi is a dead nazi.

Now I'm not a reactionary, but if this sort of
harassment keeps up, you're going to have race riots on your hands europeans. Get over ourselves, you are no longer empires, and attacking minorities, petrol bombng bakeries, assaulting defenseless woman in the streets will not be tolerated. If the gas chambers are ever reactivated again, you can bet that Uncle Adolf's little helpers will NOT be the ones pulling the levers. Besides I spray painted the wrong house.

Bottom line nazis, we will dress as per the dictates of our faith. We will eat and drink(halal ofcourse) as we per the dictates of our faith. We will perform our Salats as per the dictates of our faith. And guess what? Its none of your damn business and if its keeping you up at night, go and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded. Oh, and I love Mexican food just incase you were curious what I thought about the homies south of the border.

"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."
Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Lebanon's 6 year old heroine

From the No Peace without Justice blog

French Doctor Thierry Arnaud found Anoushe Timuti, age 6, trying to dig her brother out of the ruins of the family’s house. The doctor spoke little Arabic. Through an interpreter he explained that Anoushe’s brother desperately needed a blood transfusion or else the little boy would die. Anoushe nodded, signifying she understood.

When the transfusion was complete, she began to cry. The doctor asked what was wrong. Anoushe asked through an interpreter “when do I die?” Too young to understand medicine, she had assumed that all her blood would be taken - yet she was willing to give her life to save her brother’s.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

How NOT to protest, or counter-protest for that matter.....

I'm sure many of you have seen Pakistan's bumbling general-in-chief on the Daily Show. Yes, he's an embarassing excuse of a man with his 1940s style english and silly salute to the audience, BUT I find this "protest" cobbled together by some outfit called the "World Sindhi Institute"(90% of Sindhis live in Pakistan, the rest in India) far worse. You can tell that the white people who hooked up with them are having second thoughts. Now I've been to a few protests myself and can tell you that being articulate and organized is a must. A word of advice to these jackballs : its pronounced dem-ock-racy, not dhem-aack-rassy.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Fake Muslim degenerates unite!

Denmark's failed token colored immigrant politician Naser Khader(pictured here and named after Gamal Abdul Nasser, another failed charlatan) assembled a crew of psuedo-Muslim hucksters on the anniversary of the Danish hate cartoons to generate some press for his organization "democratic Muslims," aka "non-Muslim neocon degenerate lackeys"
His "guests" included :

Irshad Manji ( carpet addicted Canadian zionist athiest catamite con artist on the far left )

Mona Eltahawy
(curly haired neocon supported neolib Egyptian bimbo pictured above in the centre, often masquerades as a journalist )

Wafa Sultan ( unemployed athiest zionist pretending to be a Muslim, currently a favorite amongst judeofascists and people with the IQ of a toilet bowl )

It may be Ramadan but that doesnt mean the criminal network is taking it easy. Well, neither am I. Wonder where phony asylum seeker Ayaan Hirsi Magan was. Nice try though proggies but the cats out of the bag,....see you on this years idiot list.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Saturday, September 23, 2006

pre-Ramadan parting shots.....

If ISNA wants to ignore the Quran and Sunnah thats their problem. No moon sighting on Friday, no Ramadan on Saturday. I'm fed up with this nonsense and the fitna that comes with it. Check this out.

Since the usual suspects never tire of screaming about Iran's President, or shedding crocodile tears for Darfur(this coming from the same nazis who dropped over a million cluster bombs on southern Lebanon after agreeing to a ceasefire), check out this Rabbi's calls for extermination of all Palestinian males. Nice one schlomo, Hitler would be proud....hopefully you'll end up the same way he did.

More wacky Israeli tourism stories. This time, its an Israel woman carrying a magazine loaded with 16 gun bullets in her backpack upon her arrival in India. Hmmm, so a handicaped Palestinian woman suffering from cerebral palsy isnt allowed by Israelis to take her medication on her flight but they allow their own citizens to pack a little heat.
But we shouldnt rush to judgement...I sure theres a perfectly logical explanation for this, its not like she had any liquids on her or broke wind while casting a dark 5 0'clock shadow.

Ahhh what a world we live in....

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Pre-Ramadan diet primer and other tips for better health

Last year I did a number of posts on health, diabetes and heart disease, along with my world famous diet plan, and with Ramadan just days away, what better time to do a little follow up? I’m going to make this short, primarily because everybody is busy making their preparations, I’m lazy, and you should take the advice of a man who writes “honest interviews” with a grain of salt.

Many of us gain weight during Ramadan and that’s a real shame. Here are a number of things to avoid :

Soda : Please, oh please don’t drink regular soda for iftar. This is the worst possible you can do. Don’t declare a war on your pancreas by introducing several tablespoons of sugar into your bloodstream after the hypoglycemic state your body has been under all day. It will wreck havoc on your body’s ability to maintain proper sugar levels. If you must drink soda, make it diet. BTW sodas promote the formation of kidney stones, so if you want to play it safe drink water(prevents formation of gall and kidney stones) and eat radishes(proven to dissolve kidney and gall stones).

Iftar : Be responsible and know that iftar isn’t supposed to be a pig out at some “All you can eat” joint. Make it a modest meal and you may just avoid dozing off during Taraweeh prayers, assuming you can make it to the masjid after the food coma hits.

Alcohol : No really, you cant. This one’s for all you proggie juice hounds out there. Do you guys even fast?

That wasn’t too bad was it? Lets look at what you should be doing :

Cinnamon : Unless you have some ultra-rare allergy, you have absolutely no excuse whatsoever NOT to take Cinnamon pills with your meals. It’s a fantastic spice which significantly augments sugar metabolism, lowers cholesterol and acts like an anti-bacterial agent. Regardless of whether you have a family history of diabetes or not you should two 500 mg pills a day ( one each with lunch and dinner, or iftar) Check out what brother JD had to say about this :

On a completely different note, I wanted to let you know that my father-in-law and I are both drinking down two mugs of cinnamon (mixed in water) every day. When "Abah" went in for a blood test last week, his blood sugar and cholesterol levels were practically nothing. Since I started taking it consistently, almost all of my skin lesions have completely healed as has the bacterial inflammation on the back of my neck. I haven't been back to the doctor yet to see what my blood sugar levels are like, but I have felt the difference internally. Thank you for this information.”

Turmeric : Did you know that India has the lowest incidence of Alzheimer's in the world? Turmeric is the reason why, it is a powerful anti-cancer agent and prevents the formation of amyloid plaques which leads to the neurodegenerative disease known as Alzheimer's. In short, it protects brain cells. Now if only there was a nifty spice which could prevent Indians from making those atrocious bollywood films(that’s right, you heard me, SRK sucks, Amitabh is good, but Dilip Kumar(Yusuf Khan) is the KING.

Olive oil : This one’s a shocker….olive oil is cardio-protectant. Anti-inflammatory and delicious. A little on the pricey side but worth every penny. Its beneficial health effects are due both to the high content of monosaturated fats and the high content of antioxidative substances. Take a tablespoon of this daily and watch that LDL(bad cholesterol) score drop.

Baby Aspirin : a.k.a low dose aspirin (81mg dose) is must for anyone in their thirties. It thins the blood, prevents clotting and sharply cuts down heart attack incidence. One tablet a day is all you need(best time to take is after emptying the bowels). Unless you have a history of peptic ulcers or are on any other medication which may interfere with aspirin, check with your doctor. If you experience some gastrointestinal distress(a common side effect) cut down to 3 pills a week. NEVER TAKE ASPIRIN and ACETAMINOPHEN(Tylenol) TOGETHER, this causes cell death in the kidneys. Also, you need to be off aspirin for a week before undergoing any surgery. I don’t mean to scare anybody, its just a little disclaimer, part of what we call “cover you’re a$$” medicine"( translation = no lawsuits). One more thing, aspirin also prevents colon cancer.

Exercise : Physical recreation is a must. Fasting in itself is a form of exercise so no workouts during the day. If you have a treadmill, use it for a good 10-15 minutes in power walking mode to help you get some of that iftar down. Just see what its done for would-be assassin Pat Robertson here...!

Saw Palmetto : The prostate of all men enlarges with age, sorry gents its a fact of life. That pesky chemical called DHT(restosteron analogue and the one responsible for male alopecia) increases the size of the prostate ( presses down on urethra obstructing outward passage of urine). So as we age it becomes harder and harder to completely empty our bladder, hence you end going to the bathroom multiple times during the night resulting in poor sleep quality. Being unable to completely empty the bladder often leads to self infections. Prostate enlargement may progress into prostate cancer...but we're not going to let it go that far, we're going to play it safe by taking the herb Saw Palmetto in capsule form twice a day(160 mg x 2). It reduces the bodys DHT levels thereby reducing its effect on the prostate. So if you're over 35 you ought to start taking it, make sure the bottle has "standardized" on it. THIS IS FOR MEN ONLY.

I’ll stop here and hope this post didn’t come off as too academic. Also please check Sister Scorpion's blog detailing her excellent progress (partially due to the DrM diet plan, shameless plug) over the last year through a combination of exercise and diet modification. I wish more people were as tenacious about their health as she is. I hope this little primer comes in handy for those of you interested in taking a more pro-active approach towards your health.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Ahhhh, the ol' days

I've got a few too many good Catholic friends to let the current Pope's(who seems to be a fan of the "clash of civilizations" model) preposterous words roll back the progress made under the late Pope John Paul. Let it be known that no Muslim would EVER bismirch the name of Isa(Christ, a.s.) or any of the other Prophets.

As Prophet Muhammed (s.a.w) tells us in the Hadith :

Volume 4, Book 55, Number 652:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "Both in this world and in the Hereafter, I am the nearest of all the people to Jesus, the son of Mary. The prophets are paternal brothers; their mothers are different, but their religion is one."

Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 43, Number 656:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The Hour will not be established until the son of Mary (i.e. Jesus) descends amongst you as a just ruler, he will break the cross, kill the pigs, and abolish the Jizya tax. Money will be in abundance so that nobody will accept it (as charitable gifts).

Sahih Muslim Book 030, Number 5834:

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (pbuh) as saying: I am most akin to the son of Mary among the whole of mankind and the Prophets are of different mothers, but of one religion, and no Prophet was raised between me and him (Jesus Christ).

Also check Jesus(a.s.) in the Qur'an

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Honest Interviews : Amina Wadud

Imagine if Wadud got some sodium pentothal in her martini and gave an honest interview....

DrM : So Dr.Wadud, whats your story ?

AW : Well it started when I joined the NOI and then hooked up with the Black Panthers….

DrM : You don’t look old enough to have been a member of that organization…

AW : Why thank you!

DrM : No, no, it wasn’t a compliment…even though you do look like a charter member of the grey panther party.

AW : Oh that’s how it is huh? You think you’re a straight up G do you? Well guess what, you’re not going to pull a fast one on me like you did on Asra, Ahmed and Tarek. Bring it on…..

DrM : Testy huh? Don’t worry we’ll do things a little differently this time...interactive if you will. Lets start off with a softball question…what’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

AW : That’s easy. Terminator.

DrM : Terminator? The one with Arnold? That film wasn’t really scary..

AW : Are you kidding me? A white man who wouldn’t die….scared the hell out of me. I had nightmares for weeks…I threw knives at the screen!

DrM : ……………..

AW : What? I

DrM : Nothing…uh so what exactly was this whole “female led jummah.”

AW : Well, as you know, the progressive meetups were an utter failure. Those who did show up didn’t want to pay fees and thought they could hook up for free using the meetups. We also steal terms from the civil rights movement to lend us credibility.

DrM : I know, I went to one of the meetups. Getting back to my earlier question, is it true you were fired from a Malaysian university for trying to spread fitna..

AW : Oh no, I’m on temporary administrative leave you see…

DrM : Temporary administrative leave as in “you’re fired, don’t ever come back and take your RAND corporation pro-regressive garbage with you”?

AW : That’s it. I’m leaving. I‘m not going to put up with this.

DrM : uh okay….temporary or permanent?

AW : You’ll never have the pleasure of interviewing me again!

DrM : What a loss. See ya.

AW : ………………

DrM : What?

AW : Aren’t you going to try and stop me?

DrM : I thought you were leaving….

AW : Ok fine, I accept your apology…you talked me back into it…

DrM : But I didn’t…

AW : Get on with it fool.

DrM : Your female led jummah sham was based on what?

AW : It wasn’t a sham at all. It was based on the Hadith of Umm Warraqa.

DrM : But it’s a weak Hadith, and even then it only applies to woman leading other woman in prayer at home.

AW : Uh.. you’re twisting the Arabic of it because…

DrM : How am I twisting it? Do you speak Arabic?

AW : Not a word……..

DrM : Exactly…but first, a commercial break..

AW : What?! What do you mean “commercial break”?

DrM : We got some bills to pay here.

AW : What bills? You’re not broadcasting!

DrM : Well I got bills to pay. I could use a break after listening to that convoluted gibberish of yours.

AW : This is ridiculous.

DrM : Friends, are you sick of pro-regressive lies and deception? Are you fed up with freaks, pseudo-intellectuals, egotistical green card seeking third world communists and neocon gutter trash pretending to be Muslims? Go hit up the PMNUA debate blog for the lowdown. All callers west of the Himalayas dial 1-800-BAK-LAVA. All callers east of Himalayas dial 1-800-BIR-YANI. All crank callers dial 1-800-TEE-FATT. Only rotary calls tonight. If you’re calling from a touch tone phone you’re S.O.L.

AW : What the hell kind of commercial is that?!

DrM : The best kind. Ever heard of nepotism? Ok so where were we?

AW : You were asking me about my glorious career in the hallowed halls of academia.

DrM : No, I was asking if you were proficient in Arabic.

AW : What does that have to do with anything?

DrM : Well you claim to be an authority on Islam and said that I was misinterpreting the Umm Warraqa Hadith. You couldn’t make such statements if you were trained in classical Arabic.

AW : I don’t know a word of it. Home can interpreted as....well anyplace can be "home" you know...

DrM : Uh huh…I thought so…..but hold! What about the authentic hadith explicitly stating that the best rows for men are in the front and the best rows for woman are in the back?

AW : Never heard of it.

DrM : What do you mean you never heard of it? Its Sahih Muslim. Hang on a sec..,, since when did you proggies started following Hadith anyway?

AW : We only use the ones that can be interpreted for our purposes.

DrM : So you guys just ad lib it then….

AW : We don’t ad lib anything. Look…!

DrM : Go on….

AW : Its all Nomani’s fault. She pressured me into this!

DrM : And where did she get the idea for it?

AW : It was from that idiot Knight’s book.

DrM : You mean the dude who goes to ISNA playing pranks on people ?

AW : Exactly, I was just…

DrM : And now a word from our sponsor….

AW : Damnation!

DrM : Friends, have you ever been targeted by hackers from a meat market website? Don’t know what to do about it? Well look further as the Swordswoman fulfills her naseeb and slices and dices her to the facts. You‘d have to be a jackass not to look into this. Are you a jackass?

AW : Why the hell are you asking me?!

DrM : Well there’s no nobody else here…

AW : I hate you so much…

DrM : Ofcourse you do. We got somebody on the line….go ahead caller.

Caller : May you roast in hell Maxtor! How dare you give my phone number out?!

DrM : Who is this?

Caller : You know exactly who this is! Its Tarek Fatah dammit!.

DrM : Hey! How you doing buddy?

Caller : How am I doing?!? Those jerks who read your crappy blog crank called my cell and killed my anytime minutes.

DrM : Let me make it up to you T-Fat, there’s a bake sale in your current vicinity I think.

Caller : Oh, aren’t you funny? “HaHaHa” you fu…..!

DrM : Alright I’m putting him on hold, enjoy the elevator music tubby. So Dr.Wadud, you saying something about being pressured into leading the fake jummah?

AW : Don’t call it fake!

DrM : My bad, plenty of jummahs are held at art galleries I’m sure. Is it true you were praying towards the west?

AW : Depends what your definition of “west” is. Asra pressured me into it. She and that Egyptian with the footprint on his face thought it would be scandalous and photogenic to have me do it. Nobody bought my book so why not? I could use the free publicity.

Caller : EYAAAAA!

DrM : What the…? What was that?

Caller : Its me! I fought my way off hold!

DrM : What do you mean you “fought your way off hold”?

AW : Will you get rid of that ‘tard....this is my interview!

Caller : You better tell me where that bake sale is…..


DrM : oops, looks like we lost Tarek…I’m going to keep the phone off the hook so he doesn’t star69 me.

AW : I got more respect on the O’Reilly factor then this.

DrM : Naturally, FOX and the haters just love proggies.

AW : Oh you’re just jealous that nobody invites you to go on reich wing media networks to misrepresent Islam and Muslims.

DrM : Yep, I’m burning up with envy. I always wanted to be the center of attention on a Murdoch station.

AW : HaHa.

DrM : ..and now for the traffic report. Here’s Captain Paindu in the DrM copter..

AW : I got a feeling I’ve been brought here to be ridiculed.

DrM : Oh perish the thought. Go on Cap….

C. Paindu : We got an accident on the 110 freeway DrM. Reports indicate a pile up there after a fat man started flagging down cars asking the drivers for the directions to a bake sale. Right now he’s crying on the side of the road looking for a hotdog stand. Cops are on their way ready to pull a Rodney King …otherwise it looks like a smooth ride all around.

AW : That’s it. You’re giving me control of this blog right now.

DrM : Excuse me? I don’t think so….

AW : Get this : Either you give control of this blog, along with the user name and password or you racist.

DrM : Well that’s just not going to happen.

AW : Well can I atleast plug my upcoming book?

DrM : No you may not.

AW : Last chance Maxtor…either you do what I say or I’ll drop the N-bomb I hit that congregation in Toronto with.

DrM : Race baiting huh? You realize that this sort of irresponsible behavior lessens the impact and trivializes real cases of racism do you not?

AW : Hey, it works like a charm anytime I throw it around.

DrM : And on that note, you’re outta here.

AW : I still think you’re a racist(unless you hand over control of this blog). I bet you hate chitlins too.

DrM : Don’t you mean s***lins?

AW : Whatever, I’m leaving. I got interviews with TIME, Newsweek…

DrM : …and MAD magazine and the Weekly World News. But don’t worry, we’ll have you back on when you perform Umrah around the White house and Tawaf near Capital Hill.

AW : Hey! That’s not a bad idea….how about a fake Hajj too?

DrM : Only if it comes with a bull stampede like they do in Barcelona. Well that was nostril fillingly nauseating and the stench of your bull stool is enough to make a hemophiliac run amok on a cactus farm. Do visit us again Dr.Wadud.

AW : Really?

DrM : No. You can "lead" yourself out.