Friday, October 14, 2005

Suhoor at Denny's

One of the toughest aspects of Ramadan for me is the realignment of eating and sleeping hours. Particularly around midnight when I get the munchies. So I decided to go to Denny's....I was tired. straight out of the night shift at the hospital. I must have been on crack to go Denny's, which has a dubious reputation when it comes minority customers.
The place is packed. I take a seat and glance through the menu...pretty much everything is fortified with ham, so it was fish and chips for me. While waiting, I found that I was in an unofficial white sociology class. Listening to the conversations around me confirmed a number of theories I have about American caucasians :

1) The American white man is a very bold creature. Dont take that as a compliment, what I mean to say is, that they're nuts. You couldnt get me drunk enough to jump off a porch, yet these guys are talking about taking their grandmothers out for sky diving.

2) "Dude, Chris puked in my car, it was awesome, man." No, I didnt make this up, theres something about body fluids and voiding them which white people find immensely entertaining. I can tell you for a fact that if Chris was in a black dude or Mexican's car, he'd be violently rolling down the street.

3) Lets just say white folk are over-sexed. Its Ramadan, so I'm not going to go into the details of what I had heard. The only thing I can add is that theres a reason why various paraphilias are so common.

My fish and chips arrived, I ate, paid and made myself scarce. The moral of the story? Dont go to Denny's after midnight....thats when the crazy white people come out. But if you have no choice, get it to go.


Chef Bouillon said...

Based on your observations, yep, white folks are nuts. ESPECIALLY the male variety. Perhaps they should be kept in a zoo for amusement purposes?

DrMaxtor said...

No chef, I dont think crazy white should be kept in zoos, lol. Thats what the Psych ward is for. They must however, be kept as out of the political arena.
Nice blog BTW.

izzymo said...

Subhan'Allah, Dr. Max, I could have told you not to go to Denny's or Shoney's for that matter. Ewww! Crazy people in general come out at night at Denny's. Try going to the Trolley Stop Restaurant in New Orleans at eat pancakes and scrambled eggs at 3 o clock in the morning. The food there is delicious but there's something wicked about it, you know. I hope you are feeling better.

Ramadan Kareem!

izzymo said...

oh, yeah, you are on crack. :-)

JD said...

Funny post. As an American caucasian, I didn't take umbrage. :) Actually, comment #1 is something that I've been thinking about in the past few weeks since my wife made a comment... Over the past month or two, I've collected various videos over the internet, among which are some that I myself call the "idiot" series (e.g., a white rollerblader who has climbed up to the very top of some building, only to roll down and off the roof falling 5m or so onto a walkway handrail, damn near killing himself in the process). And my wife, who has seen these various videos - and is not caucasian, wondered why it is that you only see caucasians doing these idiotic things? And that's a really good question. I don't see videos with Asians or Blacks or Hispanics in them doing these really dumb stunts. I wonder if the answer has to do with economics, sociology... or just the fact that American whites (males in particular) can be really, really stupid?

DrMaxtor said...

Jazakallah khair JD,
I have a theory that people who are not internally at peace tend to do outrageous and possible dangerous things. Watching "jackass:the movie" was a revelation, these guys in my professional opinion are nuts who need psychological care. I remember a scene from the "Jackass" show where these idiots jump into a pool full of piranas.
Dont even get me started on the Blair Witch project. I have a good friend of Hispanic background whose significant white other wants to go skydiving....he took a rain check and joined us iftar! lol