Thursday, July 21, 2005
Concluding my interview with Ahmed Nassef
DrM : Ok Ahmed, now that you’re done with detox, I’m going to finish off this farce of an interview. I want short answers. Got it?
AN : Cross my heart, and hope to die.
DrM : ………ok. Name your favorite book.
AN : Das Kapital
DrM : Name your favorite movie.
AN : Girls gone wild.
DrM : That’s not a movie…………
AN : Oh, my bad. It’s a tie between Under Siege and True Lies.
DrM : Favorite author?
AN : Omid Safi ! Much love to Marx and Engles too. Lets not forget Danial…
DrM : That’s enough. Now the progressive “shahada” you’ve espoused states that “ a Muslim is anybody who claims to be one” right?
AN : Yes
DrM : So if Ariel Sharon claimed he was a Muslim, would you accept him as one?
AN : Oh yeah, totally. I’m not big on the 5 pillars you see…too wahabi for me.
DrM : Well that’s obvious. Who do you admire these days ?
AN : Nawal Saadawi
DrM : The murtada Egyptian femeNAZI ?
AN : That’s feminist, buddy. She is running for the Egyptian Presidency.
DrM : Actually she dropped out the other day.
AN : I smell a wahabi plot…..
DrM : I smell Jack Daniels and BS coming off your breath. She dropped out because no one wanted to vote for the old burnt out crow.
AN : This is a defeat for progressives everywhere…!
DrM : My heart bleeds. The whole progressive schtick is dying out isn’t it?
AN : Not as long as FOX, CNN, MSNBC are around. They love me ! I think Saadawi will make one hell of an impact in some other way.
DrM : Oh yeah, I hear she’s trying out for the part of “Skeletor” in the new “He-man and the Masters of the Universe” movie.
AN : Sweeeeeeet! I loved that cartoon! Teela was hot, dude!
DrM : Whatever, there was way too much homosexual innuendo in it.
AN : There was NOT!
DrM : Just look at some of their names : Man-at-arms, Ram-Man…ok now we’re going off tangent. This interview is over.
AN : Can I just say one last thing ?
DrM : What?
AN : I’m Rick James, bitch!
DrM : …time for that detox treatment.